You think you can just keep not dying every time I try to kill you? Seriously, man? Not cool. So not cool. Why do the heroes always have to win? Why the fuck can’t I win? It’s because I don’t have a nose, isn’t it? Well, asshole, I got some news for you, I have more followers on Tumblr than you ever will. You may be the Chosen One in the Wizarding World, but on the Internet, I am a God. I am Lord Fucking Voldemort, and I am not an owl.
Guess what else, scarface? That nasty little owl you sent me last week? I BACKTRACED IT. THE CYBERPOLICE ARE COMIN’ FOR YOU, ASSBUTT. WHO’S THE CHOSEN ONE NOW? HUH? HUH?
Xoxo Gossip Voldemort