Forget about the Horcruxes and Deathly Hallows.
Ron Weasley always knew the real solution for defeating Voldemort
She forgot about my horcruxes.
2016 Olympics, here I come.
I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT THE 40 FT VOLDEMORT RUMORS WERE JUST FAKE BUT THEY WEREN’T
JK Rowling takes part in the opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games at the Olympic Stadium July 27 2012
Remember that nightmare you had when you were a kid about Voldemort? Well now it’s REAL AND IT’S COMING AFTER YOU
ok can we just give it the fuck up to the london olympics right now
no one actually thought they’d have a 40 ft tall voldemort
FUCK YOU YES THEY DO
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YES SOMEONE EMBRACE ME
has been opened
Well the first thing I do is eat a bowl of Wheaties (I love me some Wheaties). After that I find some dark room where I can whisper evil things to Nagini. I do that for the majority of the morning. For lunch, I usually find a random diner. When I finish my lunch, I’ll get rid of everyone in the vicinity, commit some arson, kidnap a couple muggles. You know, the usual. In the afternoons I like to watch Maury and make Wanted posters with Harry Potter’s face on them. By the time dinner rolls around, I’m in a great mood. After dinner I take a walk to make sure my heart stays healthy, and I’ll senselessly hurt anyone who gets in my way. And then every night I have to deal with a Death Eater meeting. It’s usually just boring old “plot this, scheme that” type stuff. I retire to bed at a sensible hour and drift off to sleep where I will dream about serpents and flowing black robes.
Now the Times of London is reporting that, in addition to nine geese, Friday’s opening ceremony will also feature 30 Mary Poppinses fighting a 40-foot Voldemort [subscription only link], probably because someone suggested it as a joke but it would be embarrassing to scrap the plan now that they’ve already hired actors to portray the Poppinses.
But don’t worry if you think this sounds ridiculous. 40-foot-Voldemort will be worked seamlessly into the ceremony’s “Isles of Wonder” storyline.
Before 40-foot-Voldemort appears, “about 100” children will be wheeled out on hospital beds to perform “a choreographed ‘bed dance,’” which sounds quite sexy but probably is not.
To these one hundredish beds will be added a dozen more “giant” ones, on which will dance/frolic/be such beloved storybook characters as The One Hundred and One Dalmatians’ dog-skinning villain Cruella de Vil.
Then and only then will 40-foot-Voldemort himself arrive, rising up from yet another giant bed in the middle of the stadium. To recap: All the action to this point has taken place in some sort of bed.
The Times reports that Voldemort’s arrival “will coincide with dozens of Dementors—creatures that feed off human happiness—streaming into the arena from all directions and scaring the children,” because that’s what Britain is all about.
Griphook: Good morning? Good morning? You’re Bellatrix Lestrange, not some dewy-eyed schoolgirl!